Grandma

Our grandma that lives in Denver, Colorado passed away last night . We are very sad and depressed, but we know that she is in a better place and that in itself has helped us to cope with her loss. My mother spoke with her yesterday afternoon and was speaking with her for the past week with good conversations. Because our families are so far apart in distance and my mom is always busy with the store and Darleen, as much as she would like to talk to her own mother every single day, it was only maybe once a month until just recently. I feel like my mom got some good closure before my grandma passed last night.

My family is flying to Denver today and tomorrow. And when you have your own business, it's a matter of who's staying, who's going, and who's coming to help OR can we afford to shut down our store for one, two, maybe three days. I know that, to most, that's hard to understand, but we've had to make these decisions before and what I've realized growing up that - as much as we would all like to drop everything and leave - our family is a business, our family is THE business. It's different if your mom works for one company and your dad works for another because the companies don't correlate with each other and the companies have other employees not affiliated with your immediate family to take over your duties. That has sometimes helped me (sort of) side with the decisions we've made for the operations of our store while we have a family emergency. And now, in this instance that we have to make this decision again, there is an added obstacle that the same person maintaining the operations of our store will be the same person visiting and making sure Darleen's plans/therapy/classes/etc run smoothly throughout the day. As much as I am sad for the loss of my grandma and the memories we shared with her, I am also thinking in the back of my head how I am going to break this news to Darleen. How do I catch her up on loss?

I'm wondering if she will have a recollection of the things that we've told her while she has been partially "sedated" or will we have to catch her up to all the things that have happened.

One of the reasons why I wanted to write this blog so she could read it later as things happened. Big things, like this. Of any of my friends or family, Darleen knows me the most - every boyfriend, every song I listen to, the food I like, my secrets, my flaws, my life stories, she knows me. Sometimes I still wish I could call her and gossip about my life or my bf or about her life and her friends & bf? I feel like I'm responsible for telling her because I know that she would do the same for me. I wonder if she will remember all the same type of things about her as she remembers things about me? It's hard to tell.

We will work through this loss. And I know that my grandma will be happier in a better place.
- Malina